Rubenisms!

Ruben Kratky is a 20 year old German player for our Stuttgart Reds. The kid speaks English really well, but sometimes, he gets phrases wrong. Here is a list of "Rubenisms" and what they were suppossed to mean. This is not necessarily PG rated, but it is all meant in good fun.

1) "Bret, were you fucked off after practice?"
True meaning: We had a terrible practice and the guys just didn't work hard and I was pissed. Ruben was trying to ask me if I was "Pissed Off" after practice.

2) "Did you have to throw over?"
True Meaning: After a night of drinking, I had a wicked hang over and Ruben was trying to ask me if I had to throw up.

3) "That's not my problem!"
True Meaning: When I first got to Germany, I would ask Ruben what he thought about certain things and also one time to see if he could help me reconstruct the mound. I would ask him if he would help me at a certain time or what he thought about a certain subject. He always answered "Hey, that's not my problem". Coaches really hate it when you say that to them, but of course Ruben just meant, "It doesn't matter to me".

4) "Was she hamburger fat?"
True Meaning: I'm honestly not sure what he meant about this one, but I think he was talking about the shape of some one he had met in Virginia when he was there on exchange. Meaning that she was round, but he could have also meant she just ate hamburgers all the time. Either way, it was funny as hell.

5) "Hey Babe, You Look Good"
True Meaning: It's pretty much what it sounds like. I asked Ruben one day what a German guy would say when he is trying to pick up a girl at a bar. Guess they are straight to the point.

More to come....