The Big Home Opener

April 25, 2009 - The big day has come for the Stuttgart Reds. The home opener. This club really makes a big deal out of it. It's picture day (team and individual shots), throwing out the first pitch, music, barbecue and the works. Gotta admit, I was a bit excited myself.

The morning started off early because we needed to get to the ball park to take the team and individual pictures with the club directors. It was a beautiful day with a rich blue sky and a perfect 70 degrees. With the individual pictures, I had to show all the boys how to take their pictures. Make sure the number on the front is showing, pitchers with gloves, fielders with bats, no goofey smiles... The whole team stands behind the photographer and makes faces at the guy getting his picture taken. Ballplayers are the same no matter where you go!

After pictures, I was introduced to the owners of the TVC club. That is the club that basically owns our club. Haven't me them yet. They seemed to be pretty well off. One of the guys had blue tinted glasses. Must have money with glasses like that. See, when you have money, and you wear blue tinted glasses, you have class and style. When you are poor and wear blue tinted glasses, you're just going to get your ass kicked and probably get picked on a lot.

Each time I meet a board member or someone important, they ask me how the season will go and note that they have high expectations for this season. "There is no reason we can't do well with the talent we have. Only time will tell if the boys can do it on the field..." I have that speech memorized at this point I've repeated it so much.

Robert Kupka is a Czech that only speaks German. He is the Baseball director and I guess is my boss. He only speaks about 10 words of English, so you can imagine our interactions are interesting. Before each game, he comes to me and says "Bret. Today I want to win!" "OK" I think to myself. No problem.

The music is cranking already and a little speech from yours truly to the troops. I have a ton of these stored up, so I decided to pick the "It's Up To You..." speech. You know, the one where you can achieve whatever your want, but only if you put the time, effort and attitude into it. Blah, blah, blah... "There's no reason why we can't..." Ended it with "It's Up to you!" That ought to get their heads on straight and make them realize they can do anything their minds are set to. Feeling pretty good about the attitudes now. It's a can't miss! (note foreshadowing)

After running, stretching and warm-ups, it's time for the ceremonial first pitch and it's the owner with the blue tinted glasses. I am leaving his name out only because it alludes me at the moment. Pretty important guy, so I should probably know it! In perfect New York fashion, I yell "Don't bounce it" and then realize the error of my ways after it is too late. I don't think he heard me. Thank god.

I let one of our young pitching talents, Germaine Brunswick, take the hill for the first game (kid is throwing close to 90 already). Gave him a taste of all the excitement. The stands were starting to fill up and this kid will be great one day. Plus, I made that amazing speech a little while ago, so it's a can't miss. We were playing Lauf, a team that just moved up from the lower leagues and were unknown. In batting practice, they had some big guys putting balls out of the park, so I figured they were ok.

In the first inning, my pitcher hit 2 guys and we made 3 errors. I think we gave up 4 runs to start the game. Not exactly what I had in mind. By the time the game was done, we had made about 8 errors and hit 6 batters! A new league record!!

Evidently we get to pick entry music when we come to bat. I didn't pick anything, so when I was announced, the theme from Magnum PI was promptly played. Too bad I can't grow a mustache. The pitcher is throwing pretty good (about 85 mph), so I'm ready for him. First pitch, "Crack!!!" Nope, not a homerun, but a fastball right on the inside of the right elbow! Son of a bitch! The pain is immediate and I loose all feeling in my hand. Run down to first like it didn't hurt. Can't show any weakness. "Where did it get you" the first baseman asks. "Inside of the elbow". "That sucks" he said. I ended up scoring from first on a double in the gap, but quickly realized I couldn't straighten my arm out.

My next at bat, I attempted to swing a weighted bat on the side and it was a no go. Already announced me and I hear my Magnum PI theme, so I have to bat. Laid down a beautiful drag bunt since I couldn't swing and the third baseman made a beautiful barehanded play. Just got me. Took myself out of the game and the rest of the day. Guess I don't get to pitch today!

Game two comes along and I'll skip to the final inning. The game is tied 7-7 and we only made a few mistakes, so we are doing well. My reliever had pitched the final three innings really well and got 2 outs. Their big number 4 hitter came up with bases empty. Two quick strikes. Since I'm calling the game from the dugout, I call for a pitch way outside (nothing good). Poor guy pipes a fastball right down the middle and "Bombs away!". Home run over the left-center fence! We're down 8-7. We come up in the bottom half and start off with a base hit. I have the next batter lay down a bunt to move the runner over, only the ball never hits the ground. It pops straight up, the catcher catches it, and throws to first to get a double play!!!! Our next batter got a single, so with a runner on second, we would have tied the game. A third out happens and that's the ball game. Now we are 1-3 and digging ourselves a little hole.