Wilkommen Aus Deutchland!!!

March 25, 2009 - When we last left our caped crusader, he was fighting the temptations of yucky airport terminal food during his seven hour layover! Will he ever get back to a normal bowel movement? Only time will tell.

So this was my first experience with Air India. Are you all thinking what I'm thinking? Is it going to smell like curry? Am I going to get stuck sitting next to a farmer and his goat? Will it smell like curry? I must admit, I'm a pretty open minded guy, but I was a little skeptical about this flight. There was no telling what situation I got myself into. I quickly noticed that all the flight attendants were Indian. All the passengers were Indian. Aren't we going to Germany? I found out later that Germany was just a stop-over and Mumbai was the real stop. I guess they are adopting the Southwest flight model (just a little further apart). The next thought that entered my mind was a Slumdog Millionaire influenced one. India isn't exactly a rich country. Is this plane going to have propellers or what?

I got on board and to my surprise, beautiful seats with your own TV's and nice accommodations. Wow, what a surprise. The next thing I noticed were the female slight attendants. Yes, they had dots. Some red, some blue, some green. Not sure what they meant, but very colorful. They were also wearing traditional clothing that a woman from India would wear. How novel. To me it looked like they took their living room curtains and draped them over their shoulder, but they did look neat and clean. Just like that we were air born and I fell asleep instantly.

I was awoken by an attendant with a simple "Sir" (say it with an Indian accent). It was time for food. I was famished. I outsmarted everyone on board because I took the time to order the kosher meal. That is what I was always told to do if you want the good stuff. Finlay a real meal! I got my trey with real silverware, including a knife (Mr. Albuquerque security guard!!!) and I uncover the foil to find a rectangular egg colored thing with sausages next to it. Hmmmmm. Doesn't look kosher to me. Whatever Rabi blessed this must have been blind. I'll dig in and see. One bit and swallow and I knew where my next stop would be.

Five minutes was all it took! Luckily I had a commode five feet from me. Yep, just as I thought; an instant diuretic! Who needs Ex-Lax? My wife usually can't go for days when we travel. Next time, I'll order her some Air India cuisine! Bummer for the next guy.

Sure enough, someone was waiting patiently outside. Had to laugh a little once he closed the door.

Fell back asleep quickly and before I knew it, we were landing in Frankfurt. Thank god!